Jan. 17th, 2009

rachelbegins: (Default)
It's been interesting.

School was out yesterday because it's 8 degrees outside.  Personally, I don't think it's that big of a deal because it's not like we'd be outside anyway, all the students would be inside the nice, warm classrooms.  But whatever, it gave me an excuse to not go to school so it's all good.

So, instead of going to school, I went out to eat with my older sister, Dani and our friend Aaron.  And then we got ice-cream XD.  I had this crazy rainbow death ice-cream with a bunch of sprinkles and it was awesome.  Then we came back to the house and watched House until roughly 10 that night when I had to go pick my Nic up from a basketball game.  He doesn't play, but he's in the pep band, so.

We brought Nic over here and he stayed the night to watch Star Wars with me XD.  We all fell asleep on couches and I woke up at like, 9 in the morning because Nic had scholar's bowl practice this morning.   I woke up and stumbled into my room to find real clothes and Nic was just chilling in my bed, watching a pokemon movie.   Which is pretty normal for us. 

So we woke up my sister and Aaron and Nic put on my Dahsboard Confessional shirt, the hat he bought me and my favorite MCR jacket =[.  Looks like I won't be getting those back for a while.  Anyway, we took him to practice, ran by the Wal-Mart for doughnuts, and now I'm haning out at the house until Dani and Aaron get home from guitar whatever.  It's been a good day.

I don't really understand where my crazy good mood came from.  I've just... I guess, I just randomly realized that I love my life.  Which is good, because my ex boyfriend fucked me up in the head.   He broke up with me three days before our six month anniversary and then started dating another girl the day after when our six month anniversary should have been.  In short, he was an asshole.  


I'm was listening to Northern Downpour earlier and my favorite thing to do is fix my headphones so that it only plays Brendon's voice.   There's just something about his voice... I think it's that he loves to sing so much that it just comes out in his voice and you can just feel it.  Besides, he's obviously had some kind of classical training.  I can just tell things like that, I grew up around singers.

You know what else is great?  Cranium.  You know, the board game?  It's pretty much the best thing since Disney Scene It?.  If you've never heard of it, you should totally get it, it's really amazing.

I'm rambling again.
rachelbegins: (Default)
It's quiet, following just behind your
shadow, sneaking just outside your
field of vision.  a small laugh that you
barley catch, just a turn of your head
and you still can't hear me, see me,
can you feel me? feel my love, soft,
just out of your reach.  just what you
thought you would never need, and
now you're finding it hard to breathe
without my smile to calm your nerves.
I will not be the drug that soothes your
troubled thoughts and I refuse to be
your last resort.  I can't help but want
to be your safety net, the one place you
can fall and softly land, a safe place that
only we can find.  we will follow the road
where it turns to gravel, take off our shoes
as it is reduced to dust, part the tall grass
by the water and squish our toes through
the mud.  I would tell you that I love you,
but you would only run.  and I would only
let you, dip my feet in the cool river, tread
water until I cannot see, cannot feel,
cannot hear your broken voice as it rings
in my ears:  'nothing we love will ever stay
the way we want it to, beauty fades and
love was created to be taken away', oh but
I never got the chance to tell you that love
is never created or destroyed, it just is, and
it is a gift, one that never leaves, but changes
forms.   water fills my ears and your heavy
footsteps have long faded, and my love
for you is waiting in every piece of this
mess I mistake for a heart, pulsing through
every beat and it has filled my body with
a fire that only you can put out, and you
have doused it yet again. 

I don't know what to say for myself.  Sometimes I just write, with no regard for the mess I make.

June 2009

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